Writing your own vows is romantic, gives the wedding a personal touch, and… can be very nerve-racking.

How can you possibly say everything that you are feeling and all that you promise for your future in just a few words? It can be a daunting task, but it’s definitely doable; just write how you are feeling without worrying about what others may be expecting or how it will sound.

There are two ways you can write your vows: you can either each write your own separate vows to each other or you can say the same vows that you both wrote together. Either one is appropriate; it’s a personal preference.

Start the writing process by asking yourself the following questions. (Do not be afraid of writing too much at this time; you can always trim your writing after you have many thoughts on paper.)

• How did you meet? Describe the feeling.

• When did you realize you were in love? Describe the feeling.

• What dreams do you share?

• What is your favorite memory with your partner?

• What are some special moments in your relationship? Consider them all, the sad and happy times.

• What happened on the day of your engagement? How did you feel?

• What have you learned from each other?

• What do you most look forward to about life with your partner?

After you have written up to several pages of memories and feelings, take out the important stuff. Remember that less is more. Your vows should include why you fell in love and what you promise for the future.

Practice your vows several times before the ceremony. If you are worried about remembering your vows, do not be afraid to either bring a printed copy of the vows or ask the officiant to read your vows piece by piece to you.

After the wedding, frame a copy of your vows to display in your house. Your life together will be filled with many happy times, as well as some difficult times. During the challenging times, read your vows; let them help you remember how you fell in love and why you chose your mate as your marriage partner. Your vows will serve as a great reminder of your love.

Filed under: Ceremony